"My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken."
Psalm 62:1-2

The picture above is of our precious Maddox, at about 3 weeks of age. She was being rolled from the NICU, where she had been since birth, to Radiology for a CT scan of her sweet little head.

Saturday was one of those days of mixed blessings. You know the kind where you're forced to revisit a time in your life that you wished didn't happen... only to be reminded - once again - of how God had saved you from a desperate situation and how far He's brought you since.

Our daughter, Maddox, is a ray of sunshine. She's full of life, she's got a great sense of humor and she brightens whatever room she's in. It's easy to forget that when she was born, she had a Grade 3 (out of a possible 4) brain hemorrhage, and due to the hemorrhage, she developed Hydrocephalus, and due to the Hydrocephalus, she had to have a permanent shunt placed, and due to the shunt, she requires a life-time of care that goes with it.

We spent the first month of her life in the NICU and our days were filled with talking to Neurosurgeons and Neurologists about the long-term effects of her condition. We were told that there was a good chance she would develop Cerebral Palsy, that she most likely would experience several kinds of developmental delays, and that we certainly should count on numerous trips to the E.R. throughout the year from complications that are common with shunts.

Saturday, at age 3 1/2, was visit number one.

On Thursday, we noticed a lump on Maddox' neck in the vicinity of her shunt line (the tubing that runs under her skin that connects the device in her brain down through her torso and ends in her abdomen). After watching it for a couple of days, we decided we should probably get it looked at and took her to her doctor for her opinion. This facilitated a transfer to Children's Hospital, two CT scans, one x-ray, some blood work, a consult with a radiologist and a visit from a pediatric neurosurgeon.

Everything ended up fine. But we once again felt the same sense of unease that we felt three-and-a-half years ago. Hoping for good news, but not sure what the test results would show. That's the "mixed" part of the "mixed blessing."

The "blessing" part came from the numerous comments we heard that reminded us how unbelievably fortunate we've been that Saturday was our first trip to Children's since her birth.

One of our doctors said she couldn't believe that Maddox had a grade 3 bleed because she just looked so good. Our CT scan tech was in shock when we told her that Saturday was our first scan since she was one-month old, and most of her care-givers made some kind of comment about how healthy she was.

It was just one of those days where on one hand, we hated to be back in that all-too-dreaded of situations; but on the other hand, it was a great reminder of how far God's brought us.

We're certain we'll have more nervous days like Saturday, but as one of our pastors taught us, "God is perpetually out for our good; and deliverance from sin is a far greater blessing than deliverance from affliction."